"This old town's filled with sin; it'll swallow you in-Gram Parsons "Sin City"
If you've got some money to burn.
Take it home right away, you've got three years to pay
But Satan is waiting his turn..."
So our next stop was Vegas, baby, Vegas, which was not quite what we thought it would be. For example, I thought it was going to be a place where winning money is like stealing Dentyne from the elderly, but that it was not.
We hit some quick slots at the Gold Coast, expecting millions. Turns out we only wasted about $3. What gives?
Shortly thereafter, we realized that we couldn't afford to stay at the Gold Coast, which Lonely Planet told us was a "cheap, off-the-strip destination", and that we furthermore couldn't afford any of the big hotels because it was Friday and weekend rates had started. Instead, we had to stay here:
It wasnt as bad as it looks. There was no Gideon's Bible, which bummed Matt out, but there was sweet stationary, 6 channels of high-quality analog cable (showing Anaconda, with Ice Cube and J-Lo, SWEET), and only a few blocks from the Strip.
Lured by the promise of $1 roulette tables at the Westin, we made our way for Las Vegas Blvd. (turns out $1 roulette happy hour was over, actually). On the way there, we noticed the elegant Siren calling cards of Vegas's finest mature escorts, wedged gracefully in the fences...
Here they are, the beauties...
And here is where we ended up, the casino that destroyed us, left our souls vacant. A fiendish hellhole known as BALLY's... (*note: full quantity of Vegas monetary losses will not be mentioned in this post, or ever, because certain worryworts we call "mom" and "dad" are reading this.)
On a side trip from Bally's we saw Paris, the tackiest casino in the city... actual French streets and blue skies were replicated...
On the floor at Bally's. God bless the free drinks.
But the long and short of it, without going into too much detail, is that Las Vegas is an evil place, its denizens hell-bent boozehounds, and its owners greedy fiendish capitalists. This, we must admit, is our opinion only after failing, twice in one night, to get back to the black on our bets. So goodbye Vegas. Goodbye pimps on the casino floor...
Goodbye Coco and Christine, our lovely dealers at the $2.5o video-roulette tables...
Goodbye, unattainable Mirage...
Goodbye, Paris...
Goodbye, hot babes direct to me, girls who want to meet me, 24 hours, 7 days...
Goodbye, Strip. Goodbye.
Let's call in Gram again to finish things up...
"Well, I spend all night with the dealer
Tryin' to get ahead
Spend all day at the Holiday Inn
Trying to get out of bed
Ooh, Las Vegas, ain't no place for a poor boy like me
Ooh, Las Vegas, ain't no place for a poor boy like me
Every time I hit your crystal city
You know you're gonna make a wreck out of me..."
- Gram Parsons, "Ooh Las Vegas"
1 comment:
doesn't this beat wallowing in guilt and misery with the pc cops at hia? i thought so.
also if you find those egyptian students who escaped, turn them in.
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