Ray's Hellburger

[monsterburger!]

Everyone knows DC is a burger town. They gave us 5 Guys, which is a gift I'd never exchange. In fact, writing about it right now, I'm thinking of going and getting a burger from there for lunch. Actually, screw that. I packed lunch today. I'll get 5 Guys for dinner.

Anyway, KB and I finally tried the place Serious Eats called the best burger in DC -- even though it's in Arlington, Virginia, technically, which I guess is Metro DC -- Ray's Hellburger. It opened last summer in this strip mall in downtown Arlington. The place is not without affectations. They don't serve fries, which reminded me of Thrasher's, the famous Ocean City fries place, which refuses to serve ketchup, as if any modicum of predictability would compromise the integrity of the whole friggin' place. So no fries with my burger? I can deal. But Ray's recently got rid of their potato salad, too, which is a disappointment, and the only side available really, were these deep-friend cheese balls, which sounded good at first, but were ultimately not at all worth it.

On to the burgers, though. This is a fantastic piece of meat. I had the Let's Get It On burger, which, as you can see from this menu, has applewood bacon, swiss, cheddar, mushrooms, grilled red onions, sauteed peppers, roasted garlic and lettuce and tomato. I added Ray's signature "Diablo sauce," which is a chipotle mayo, because it looked good. I washed it down with an excellent draft Old Dominion root beer.

There are generally two main ways, I think, for a burger like this one -- the type that comes with lots of toppings and a generously-sized (10 oz) patty -- to stand out. One is to think up really cool combinations (The Dizz, in Baltimore, is great at this -- for examples see their Black and Bleu burger, the Mediterranean Burger, etc) of toppings and give the burger a real identity based on a number of different flavors that mash together. The other, is to have a real stand-out rub or very high quality meat, so that the actual burgerrific flavor comes through strong in spite of all the toppings and sauces (come to think of it, The Dizz's Curry Burger and Whiskey Rub burger are examples of this type -- I should really blog about them soon). My experience with Ray's was the latter. They advertise their meat as "premium aged" and "freshly ground" and it really comes through. Especially with a medium rare specimen, like mine, the meat is as much a pleasure as what's on it -- the parts, in other words, are superior to their sum. Let's grade this:

FOOD: A-
Great meat that lives up to its billing, and easily the best burger I've had in DC. I've never been to any of Ray's other spots (Ray's the Steaks, Ray's Classic), but if the quality is emphasized like it is here, I'll buy it. The only reason these vittles fell short of teacher's pet status is that I don't have a lot of patience for restaurateurs who think it's cool to NOT sell sides for the sake of authenticity. Funny, barbecue places never do this, and they're arguably the most meat-focused people in the world.

AMBIENCE: A-
Ray's is a tad crowded. I heard a rumor whilst there that they're moving to a new place relatively soon. But the simple, old-school menu reminded me a bit of Fatburger and the place was lively in general.

BOOZE: A
There was no booze. But man, that was some good root beer.